Pumpkin, Beanies, and a whole lot of Swords
by KittenKidnapper
Summary: Pumpkin, yeah so apparently my parents wanted a nickname for their child's name so they wouldn't have to worry about making up a nickname in the future. Confusing? I know. Not only do I have the, "The most interetingest name ever in mankind!" I also, apparently sent to this place called Middle Earth by this crazy lady that I was buying turnips from. Turnips. Yep, my day is great!
1. Prologue

**Okay, so, this is kind of an Author's note before I start writing.**

**My other fanfiction is on Wattpad if you want to go, Che-E-Ow, Jk, sorry. If you want to the the title is literally right there, as the chapter thingymabob, but yeah, I should probably start writing now. Peace Out Fellow Martians!**

**Prologue:**

So apparently this lady that I was getting turnips from has powers. So, next thing I know I'm in this weird place called Middle Earth and the old lady who turns out to be this very beautiful elf slash power person that wants me to travel to Hobbiton in this place called The Shire, to go on an adventure with a group of very pungent dwarves, with a nice doiley loving little man, and very tall crazy staff guy that is apparently a wizard and apparently I shrunk, a lot. That's not even the craziest part. The craziest part though is I lose my favorite beanie and I get into multiple sword fights but I don't have a sword and also It's only in the span of what, a flipping week and a half but that's not even half of it. My life is _WONDERFUL_!


	2. Orange Juice and the Crazy Turnip Lady

**Chapter One!**

_Don't wake up, you know you don't want to work on the farm today. You would much rather stay in this cozy...flufffffffffyyyyyy...warmmmmmm...bed._

"Oh Shutup stupid conscious," I mumbled into my pillow but I had to agree with myself I don't really want to wake up at five in the morning on a saturday during summer, but I live on a farm in Kansas with my dad and mom who just happen to be an early birds. Oh the life.

I pull the covers back over my head not wanting to bother the sun or the sun to bother me. I snuggle back into the warmth of my cozy pillow an-

_Cockoo-doodle-doo!_

I swear I'm going to have a nice piece of chicken thigh this week before I burst out that window and eat that chicken whole.

I slowly sit up rubbing my eyes while I do, picking out eye crust here and there. I opened my tired eyes with caution, not wanting the sun to blind because, you know, the window is right in front of my bed!

_Bam!_

I hiss in pain as the sun tags me right in my eyes.

"Ow, ow!" I get off my bed in an attempt of not trying to fall on my face. Don't you just hate it when you look at the sun then look away and there are those little colorful dots that follow you everywhere and you can't get rid of them. Yeah, I hate that tremendously enough that I close my eyes and run into a door but you know it was _totally _on _purpose. Not. _

_Why am I even talking to myself, gosh, I am such a weirdo. Okay stop, stop now. Ughhh... I think I just need breakfest. After all you aren't yourself when your hungry._

I quickly make my way towards my bedroom door trying not to run into any walls on _purpose _again.

"Stupid wall," I kick the wall as a walk out of my bedroom, yeah that wasn't a good idea. "Ow! Why do I keep hurting myself, well when I kicked the wall I probably should of expected that...But it'll be okay," I give myself a reassuring nod as a hobble on down the hallway towards the kitchen, and to my no surprise, no one is there. Except for Tracy but she hates me. Tracy jumps off of her stool as soon as she sees me and my injured body and sways her fat butt as she leaves probably to go eat more cat food or take a dang lazy nap. Dang lazy cat.

I walk towards the fridge and open it up to see what's to eat, but to my no surprise again, there's just about a million cartons of eggs in there (that's what my fridge looks like). I officially hate eggs. Having to eat eggs every single morning for your whole entire life kinda gets to ya.

I slam the fridge shut in frustration and turn to lean on the counter. I fold my arms and rest my head on the counter contemplating on what to eat for breakfast. Dirt or grass?

I start tapping my fingers on the counter making an annoying clicking sound to where I have to stop myself.

I'm so hungry and bored! Stupid rooster, stupid sun, stupid wall, stupid, fridge, stupid eggs, stupid counter, stupid fingers, stupid everything!

"Why am I so angry!?" I yell out loud this time scaring the cat. Tracy runs out the kitty door to where ever cats go to at five in the morning on a saturday during the summer.

I looked around the kitchen and noticed an open carton of orange juice by the stove. Mom probably left it open. My mom is the kind of mom who never grew out of the stage of a teenager, I mean she has her parental moments but other than that she's like an older more rebellious version of me running around all day long. On the other hand I'm more of the quieter type but when I'm alone I'm a totally different person. Trust me if someone was around, I would not of kicked a wall and basically called everything stupid. So once you get to know, I'm crazy but my only friends are the animals and my mom and dad so, everyone thinks I'm a loner, yeah. But anyways...

I quickly march over to the orange juice carton feeling hopeful that there might be the slightest bit left but no and that's when I finally blow up...

"Stupid fudging orange juice!" I glare up at the ceiling and stick my fist up in heaven's direction," I have to wake up every morning at five, even on Saturday's during the weekend to do stupid everything, so you could at least leave me some dang orange juice!"

I quickly throw the carton away and make a break towards the front door, I grab my keys and slam open the door and slam it shut to. I hurry past my parents before they could say anything and hop into my truck. I put the key in the ignition, start the car, and head towards the supermarket not really caring if I'm in my pajamas or not. My hair is a afro and my makeup is smeared across my face but I don't care because you know what, I'm craving turnips for some unbeknownst reason.

#^&amp;^#

I quickly park the car, really not caring that I was on the curb, and stormed off towards the direction of the market. I ignoring people's stares, I walked hurriedly towards my favorite stand that is run by this nice-ish old lady who so happens to be selling turnips. I don't even know why I want turnips, it just hit me like a brick sliding on butter. I ran up to the stand waiting impatiently till the woman turned around. She had soft eyes and long blonde hair and a very forgiving demeanor but she hated when people were impatient.

When she turned around I quickly asked, "Can I please have a turnip please?" When the woman turned around she cringed at the state that I am in and handed me a turnip, before I could turn around and leave she quickly asked me, "How long have you been craving turnips?" She had this worried look on her face.

"About an hour, Why?"

The woman quickly from behind her stand grabbed my hand and practically ran towards the other side of a building. It's just like, hello can anyone see me, a girl with a afro, music note pajamas getting kidnapped, with a green beanie here, but apparently food is better.

I tried to get away from her but she was really strong.

"It's just a gonna hurt a little bit," our hands started stinging and I widened my my eyes as our bodies started glowing blue, "Now I just need you to calm down."

"How am I supposed to f-" but before I could say anything, everything went white.


End file.
